Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

What is thought?

Have you ever stopped to think, what is a thought?

I have had countless people tell me that they experience thinking as a voice in their head that continuously engages in conversation with itself.

They usually refer to that voice as “I’.

Apparently, humans typically have more than 6000 thoughts a day. Considering how influential thinking is over our feelings and behaviours, it can be helpful to consider for a moment, what is linguistic thought?

Ideally, you would check this for yourself considering no one else can.

When I look, I see that thoughts are:

Non-Material: Neither I nor anyone else can point to, capture or measure a thought.

Non-Local: Thought mostly seems like it is located in my head, however when I look, I see no evidence for this and it seems neither can anyone else, because my head is material and my thought is non-material.

Phantom Sound/Sight: It seems as though thought mimics the sense of sight or the sense of sound, but only as a vague impression, like a phantom.

Secondary: First there is an experience then there is a thought. I can’t see a direct cause, and a physical mechanism hasn’t been found, a phantom sound appears as an interpretation of a sensory experience but its real source is imperceivable.

Impermanent: The moment there is one, it’s gone.

Unreliable: Our guess at what happened, how things are and what will happen is notoriously inaccurate in detail most of the time.

Impersonal: The thoughts I have are conditioned by a language, time, place, and culture that I didn’t choose.

Automatic: They happen the way they happen whether I want them to or not.

Can you see any other qualities to thought?

Thought can be pleasant, helpful and accurate to a degree, however after reflecting on the above do you feel comfortable placing your identity, health, happiness and life choices entirely in the hands of that “voice in your head”?

Language

These thoughts are also constricted by the limitations of language. Language is a practical tool however is itself inherently -

Symbolic: Isn’t the thing.

Arbitrary: Has no objective direct relationship to the thing.

Cultural: Is dependent on the culture it is used within.

Ambiguous: Is capable of meaning many things at once and unable to mean all things it refers to.

Subjective: Relies on the communication of agreement without any way of verification of agreement.

PRACTICE - Before Words

Look at your hand, think the word hand, then observe it in the silence that comes after the thought, alternate between thinking the word while looking and not thinking the word while looking, and notice the difference in the experience, what is the “hand” in the experience without using language?

Strangely without language, all space, time and objectivity dissolve into…

This.

So What?

Well.

Despite the common dissent I may receive, realising the above qualities about thought does not render you incapable of thinking, speaking or understanding. However, it would ideally loosen your unquestioned closed fist on the “voice in your head”, being who you are, trustworthy or helpful, and hopefully encourage you to be more aware and discerning with your thinking and more comfortable focusing attention on being, which inherently has its own wisdom, insight and intelligence.

PRACTICE - What am I thinking?

Close your eyes and take a step back from identifying with your thoughts.
Observe the thoughts. Observe how they come and go automatically, how they are phantom-like in nature.
Observe where they seem to be located, and also how you cant actually find them.
Notice that there is space, pure awareness, between the words and the thoughts.
Notice that these thoughts require this blank screen of pure awareness to appear in.
Be curious about each thought as though you were examining the experience of thinking rather than entering into a discussion or debate.
Bring attention to your mind and see what thought comes next.
Think to yourself, what is the next thought?
Observe curiously, patiently, like waiting for someone to say something on the phone.
Notice the quality of awareness with no thought.
When a thought appears open your eyes and write it down.
Close your eyes and bring awareness back to your mind.
Think to yourself, what is the next thought?
Repeat this as long as you feel to.
Be curious.

Common Cognitive Distortions

Linguistic thought is consistently interpreting sensory data and as I have highlighted already, is commonly distorted in its interpretation. One thing we can do to develop discernment about thought is to become familiar with common cognitive distortions in order to identify them more clearly in the moment, challenge them and make room for clearer more helpful interpretations.

Here are some common cognitive distortions from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Black-and-White Thinking: Seeing things in extreme, either-or categories, without considering the grey areas or middle ground.

Overgeneralization: Drawing broad negative conclusions based on limited evidence or a single event.

Mental Filtering: Focusing solely on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring any positive aspects.

Discounting the Positive: Minimizing or dismissing positive experiences, achievements, or feedback.

Jumping to Conclusions:

Mind Reading Assuming you know what others are thinking, even without evidence.
Fortune Telling Predicting the future negatively, assuming things will turn out badly without evidence.

Catastrophizing:

Exaggeration Blowing things out of proportion, making small problems seem much more significant.
Minimization Downplaying the significance of positive events or personal strengths.

Emotional Reasoning: Believing that because you feel a certain way, it must be true. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."

Should/ent Statements: Putting pressure on yourself or others with "should," "must," "ought," or "have to" statements. Feeling guilty when you don't meet these self-imposed rules, or angry and disappointed when others don't.

Labelling and Mislabeling: Overly identifying yourself or others based on mistakes or shortcomings. For example, instead of saying, "I made a mistake," you say, "I'm a failure."

Personalization: Taking everything personally and assuming that others' actions or behaviours are a reaction to you, even when they aren't.

Blaming: Holding others responsible for your problems or negative emotions without considering your role in the situation.

All of these distortions rely on one habit,

Assumption.

My mum always said, “To assume is to make an ass out of you and me”.

Although this in itself is an assumption, it was easy to remember and encouraged my interest in applying discernment to concepts.

Helpful Questions

The best antidote to blindly accepting assumptions and then enduring their psycho-bio-social pitfalls is to become more aware of them and to challenge them.

The easiest way to challenge a thought is to make friends with a simple three word question, “Is that true?”

When we explore these thoughts and test them it’s really helpful to have a meditative and contemplative attitude without rushing into another assumption. And the best answer to a yes or no question is yes or no. If I am unsure then it’s a no, however if I get a clear honest yes it can be helpful to check for proof just to be sure.

It can also help to explore and elaborate on this line of thinking.

Below are a series of helpful questions when it comes to revealing erroneous assumptions.

Is that True?
Do I have some proof?
Is that helpful?
Is it kind to myself and others?
Is it permanent? (The thought or the situation)
Is that my authentic voice? (Maybe you can see it is a parroting of another person).
How does it feel when I believe this thought?
How do I behave when I believe this thought?
Is there anything helpful I can do about this situation?
What is the impact of consistently believing this thought?
What is more true?
What is more authentic?
What is more helpful?
What is more kind?

Also, when discovering more helpful thoughts it’s often helpful to come back to positive “I” statements about my own feelings and needs.

PRACTICE - Question Stressful Thoughts

Go over some of the thoughts you wrote down in the previous practice.
Identify if any of them fit a type of cognitive distortion.
Then apply some of these questions to the ones that do and see what comes up.

Also, try this 11 minute meditation exploring challenging thoughts.

Making Peace With The Present Moment

Living The Dream

Ultimately the more we identify with and believe our thinking the more we are living in a dream.

Is your dream looking like a haunted house?

Try cleaning out the distortions on a regular basis until it becomes second nature.

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Do you have a question or topic you would like to learn more about?

If so email mike@michaelvaccaro.com.au and I will incorporate what's most relevant for you in up and coming articles, podcasts and youtube videos.

May All Beings Be Happy,

Michael Vaccaro

BCouns, GradCertAppMind, CertMedHolCouns

Good Thinking